Freezer to Microwave

Sometimes I do things the hard way. That’s how this week was leading up to the Rage in the Sage Duathlon. I saw the signs, but didn’t pay them much attention. This is an off-road duathlon, which would be a first for me. I have never ridden off road, let alone raced there. To make things more interesting, the bike I’d be riding was purchased in 1991. It was a nice $1500 bike back then, but it’s use was limited to a few months of riding a half mile to/from EWU. After loaning it out, the poor thing was abused for a couple years before I got it back and stored it out of sight and mind.

This was going to be my weapon of choice for the race, so I brought it into the light, realizing another problem with my race plan. The rear wheel was unusable and needed rebuilt, the front was salvageable, but needed a lot of adjustment. The chain was rusty, the gel in the saddle formed hard lumps, and the derailleurs, rear cassette and cables needed replaced. Two Wheel was nice enough to get it in for an emergency visit. There was no need to panic as I could always buy a $69 bike at Fairchild. That’s about how well things were going.

As my bike was being rebuilt, I decided to do a long run to get ready for the Lincoln Marathon. Apparently jumping from 12.17M to 22.22M is hard on my legs. I can’t exactly claim to be ignorant of what to expect, but goal races require me to train through training races. After annihilating my legs and being unable to get good quality biking and running, I figured I could beat the rest of life from my body in the pool. At 3K/day with some hard intervals, I was able to make it to Friday evening with a cure for my insomnia. It was hard to concentrate, but I remembered to get my rebuilt bike and take it for a test ride. I must have been a mountain biker in my previous life. I was so tempted to ride myself off into the rocky terrain to the side of the road, but my brain denied the request. One shattered collar bone and thoracic outlet syndrome will have to be enough until another year. The tires weren’t rounded like most tires, so they provided 2.7” of contact with the road. I felt like I was unstoppable!

Race morning arrived and my legs were still sore to the touch. Not the result I was looking for, but I like pain. Somehow I got out of bed when I’m normally going to bed. My sleep schedule is about as irregular as can be, but at least for today I was doing fine. My gut was unhappy too and begged me to go back to bed, but I packed my gear and headed for the tri-cities. I left early since I didn’t know where I was going and the directions were about as useful as a rubber crutch. Continuous efforts to find the race site with GPS were sending me a blank every time. Trying not to panic over the possibility of driving to a place that I may never find, I simply used the GPS to search area after area for the one street listed on the race information page. The street was not part of the race course, but near it, which was the best I could do. To my delight, I found the street within an hour and could focus on my plan of attack.

Arriving on sight with about an hour before race start was a tremendous relief. I love competition, so I was glad to hear that Jablonski, Brown and Schur (defending champ) were all there. With nothing but dirt and rocks, I opted to use running shoes through the race (platforms during the ride). A short warm-up, in the much warmer tri-cities weather on an abnormally warm day anyway, revealed that my leg muscles were broken. After taping them back together, I got ready for the start.

As soon as we were off, I was huffing like I’d just got done running. It may have something to do with my week is all I thought. It’s probably better than I’ll feel in Ironman. Strangely, I struggled to keep up, but I’m good at struggling. It took about a mile to move into 4th and another half to move into 3rd. My pace (5:36/M) for the 2.5 miles sucked, but it was somewhat challenging terrain, especially with broken muscles. Seriously, they’re broken. A quick transition put me in 2nd and within striking distance of 1st.

The ride was only 10 miles, so I felt pretty confident I’d be able to stay in contention. Did I ever mention that I was riding this course for the first time, off road for the first time on a very heavy bike, with no shocks, that I haven’t ridden for 16 years? Ten miles suddenly became about as easy as wrestling a gorilla. Jablonski pulled away, Schur passed me and disappeared and Brown caught me much sooner than expected. I tried my best to go fast, but doing simple things like going straight and make the corners were more than my skill would allow. We had a rough one-lane road, which I inadvertently took all of. I must have been difficult to pass for that purpose, but going so slowly helped people get around me. Eventually I was in 6th place and fighting to hold off a couple more.

I kept both hands on the grips to keep from crashing instead of taking a much needed drink or to look at the GPS. When I finally did get risky and take a look at the GPS, which I couldn’t see from all the vibrations, I saw both of my hands were covered in blood. I don’t remember crashing, but it’s possible. My hands were shaken so violently for so often that the rapid fire shifters rubbed my thumbs raw! Being bloody always makes for a better story. My GPS shook so violently for so long that my wrist and hand were aching with every bump. I wanted this to be over faster than that. After a nearly 40 minute ride, I was safe in T2.

I looked frantically for my cape, but it wasn’t there, so I ran without it. The two guys that nearly put me in 8th place were quickly forced to give up on passing me. The two guys I could see tried to make a break for it, but it’s not easy for those bad guys to outrun this cop. The Air Force granted me permission to fly low today, so I flew by them off into the dusty hills. Not even thermal imagers could pick up the heat signatures of the three in front of me, so I just kept pressing. I can always dig deep and expose myself to legendary amounts of pain on the second run. Today I did just that, but it wasn’t even close to enough. Brown beat me by 2:27 and Schur beat me by 4:07. Jablonski had this thing wrapped up, but inadvertently did a third loop on the bike. I don’t blame him though. It was that fun. Actually, it was so confusing that I may have had a better sense of direction if someone blindfolded me, stuck me in a dark holding cell and spun me around for 20 minutes.

Due to Jablonski’s error, I finished third overall. It’s a fair result for my first off-road duathlon. On the other hand, I expected better as a result of the 5 miles running to the 10 miles biking. It’s clear that I didn’t know what I was getting into. It’s also clear that I didn’t exactly peak up for this thing either. I was looking for competition and found it in people I’ve never lost to, but it was an awesome challenge. A nice bonus was a terrible sun burn on my face, back, arms and legs. Unable to destroy myself completely, I tried again in the pool with some torture intervals for 3K. Now that I’ve completely spent myself for 8 days in a row, I’ll be heading to the Spring Thaw Duathlon. I’m sure I’ll survive that too. There’s little chance I can win, but I like pain and will do my best to share it with whoever tries to win.