ARE YOU UBER?

That was the title of an e-mail on November 12th, 2008. If not for my friend Sonny, I might have thought the e-mail was inappropriate spam. I first heard the word when he was talking about the uber bikers from Germany: Thomas “Hell on Wheels” Hellriegel and Jurgen Zack. Hellriegel biked a 4:14:45 for 112. That’s miles, not kilometers! Zack broke the bike record two years later with a 4:14:16! We’re talking 26.429 MPH. That record still stands; moreover, I’d like to point out that it was done on a Softride. I can appreciate a good debate on the world’s fastest bike, but don’t ask me why I ride a slow bike or when I’m going to get a real bike. Anyway, I digress.

The fastest biker in Ironman history. Suspension, aerodynamics and comfort = speed!

I knew uber meant super and the e-mail was from CGI_racing, so I opened it and began to read. “The fastest triathlon tri in the world is coming…. Are you “Uber”?” I’m really into fast. The e-mail goes on “The word “Sprint Triathlon” has always been an oxymoron in the sport … until now. This triathlon will define what it means to “truly red line.” If the Kentucky Derby is the fastest two-minutes in sports … UBERMAN is certainly the fastest 15-minutes in triathlon.”

My Ubermanda and Uberbike after USAT Sprint Nationals. Second overall twice with a strong bike split.

Fifteen minutes! Hallelujah! Someone made a race for me! I’m trying to figure out how to sign up before I get to the end of the e-mail. I read on … “Witness 10 Elite Men and 10 Elite Women competing for the coveted UBER CUP, flying by you every two minutes at warp speed.” What? Just 10 elite men! My hopes of racing began to fade. At least they didn’t say pro.

Not quite sure what the 10 men part means, so I start reading as fast as I can, while getting my credit card ready, in case they take the first ten to enter. It goes on … “The 20 athletes will not only include a pro field but several of the top amateur Elite triathletes. Watch them compete against the pros, watch them battle each other for their chance to be the 2009 UBERMAN and UBERWOMAN!”
The race: a 200m swim, 4-mile bike and 1-mile run. They ask “Will we see swim splits of 1:00 per hundred? Bike splits over 30mph? 35mph? Even 40??? Can someone approach a 4-minute mile?” They say there will be generous cash prizes and that the race is free, but invitation only. Whenever there’s prize money, a virtual who’s who will show up. I didn’t care about the prize purse. I probably wouldn’t win that anyway. I just wanted to do this race. Some people are into the 70.3 and 140.6, but not me. I’m into 5.125. Several things make a race competitive: Prestige, titles, competition, field size, invitation only, venue, etc. However, nothing brings talent like money. Athletes would fly across the country to try to win enough money to break even. This race was offering a generous prize purse (not yet disclosed), is invitation only, has a very limited field size, will profile each athlete and the race in Triathlete magazine, and its held in conjunction with the most prestigious race in New Jersey, which attracts an international field.

I'll be doing my best to represent. Aim High, but fly low!

There are times in life where we throw caution to the wind and go after things way bigger than we are. I did that in applying for this race. An independent review board would evaluate the applications and select ten men and women. I knew they wouldn’t pick me, but I wasn’t going to make that decision for them. I can accept someone else telling me that better qualified athletes will fill the race. With nothing risked, nothing is gained, so I sent in my application because it’s something I really wanted to do. Knowing that was the last I’d hear about it, I was pleased that I gave myself the opportunity.
I continue training as the week-long freezing fog finally lifts from the west plains. Tree branches broke from the weight of the ice, taking out power lines. A couple nearly crushed me on a run through the woods! Wind sweeps over small branches, covering the other side with frost several times the width of the branch it covers!

On January 8th, I got another e-mail from CGI_Racing with the title “UBERMAN – You’re Invited!” My jaw dropped and I simply said “Wow.” There are moments in life when the last thing I expect happens, regardless of how much I hoped it would. This was one of those moments. My amazement was quickly replaced with ambivalence. I didn’t know whether I should be excited or afraid. I looked over all the information again and again. This was an awesome opportunity to be chosen out of hundreds of pre-qualified athletes, but I may have bitten off more than I can chew. I don’t know who I’ll race yet, but they’ll look over the entry list (when it comes out) and say “well, with this Bergquist guy racing, I don’t have to worry about being last.” I predict I’ll go top 10.

A closer look shows just how much ice nature can pile onto even the smallest twigs. I estimate the ice to be 6 times the width of the twig and an more than 6 times the weight.

With a TT format and 2:00 sendoffs, there won't be any drafting. There won’t be any battling for position in the swim. There won’t be a couple hundred meters to settle in and find my pace. The race is almost over just as soon as it starts. This is all out racing from the word go. Normally a little time is needed on the bike to adjust before I find the right effort, but not in this race. The effort is so hard that a dismount without collapsing will be a huge deal. There’s no easing up to get ready for the run either, despite needing it more than ever before. Training paces make the first mile respectable on cruise control, then I start racing. In this one, I’ll be hurting more than ever before. A hard mile would be easier, although ironic, after a longer swim and bike. There’s no such luxury in this one. It’s just one mile and it can’t just be fast. It has to be super fast. I’m talking uber here! Going sub five minutes probably won’t do much more than keeping me from getting embarrassed. Lucky for me, I do have an ace up my sleeve. I’m talking transitions. They’re the fourth leg of triathlon and more important in this race than any other. If I could be considered really good at anything, it would be transitions. In the races where it really matters, I’m definitely uber in transition. We’ll see if that’s the case when I’m pushing so hard that I might set a world record for hyperventilation.

Unleash the beast! My favorite super hero, immature or not. The Hulk towel is the official marker for my transition area. Are you incredible?

Although I know I’m not likely to be The Uberman, I am going to believe in myself enough to be at my best when I cross paths with the start line. That’s all I can ask of myself, so it has to be enough. I’m a sprint specialist and pain is my friend, but I’m expecting something far more awful than that. Perhaps I’ll bring it like the Incredible Hulk! On July 26, 2009 in New Jersey, it will take less than 20 minutes to answer the question asked in an e-mail on November 12th. ARE YOU UBER?